To the F*cking Barclays Centre…. As!!! has actually been recommended by the game as the venue for tonight.
Tonight we mark the end of an era. Not only is tonight’s PPV the last PPV before the road to Wrestlemania kicks off. It’s actually the last show that has been created using TEW 2005.
New year. Fancy new software. As B + G Industries will be utilizing TEW 2016 from tomorrow, and for the considerable future.
So then, with that in mind. Lets get started with the PPV that’s given my favourite moment in WWE history. I’ll try to do it justice.
First up as the fans roll in. The hotly (ish) anticipated match up between WWE’s newest tagteam. Evan Bourne and Tyson Kidd (Bourne Better) ((Air Canada)), and Primo and Epico Colon. Primo and Epico have stunted Bourne Better (Air Canada’s) development as a team recently, throwing them spanners every time they expect hammers. Is the time right for the new boys to overcome their duck?
It was tight. But Evan and Tyson showed more cohesion in this bout than they have previously. Eventually Tyson managed to sinch in the Sharpshooter on Primo Colon. Epico was down and out. Tyson positioned himself close enough to Evan to get the tag. Still in the Sharpshooter. Evan went up high. And hits Air Bourne!!! onto the back of Primo! A move that they call Sharp Air. ITyson rolls out as Evan flips over Primo for the 1,2,3.
Bourne Better defeated Primo and Epico in 14:51 when Evan Bourne defeated Epico by pinfall after hitting Sharp Air. (B)
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM-BA-BOOM! BOOM!” The show starts with an impressive opening of pyro, before the lights are raised and several sections of the excited crowd are shown waving various signs. The focus then switches to the announce table where Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler introduce and hype tonight’s show and the expected impact the likes of Triple H, Seth Rollins, Kevin Owens and Cesaro are likely to have. (B)
First up. TAG TEAM TITLE ACTION.
A video plays showing the goings on between The Bullet Club vs. Enzo Amore and Big Cass, all with a nice reminder than American Alpha will be guest Bell ringer and timekeeper for this title bout. (C+)
The two smaller members of each team got the match underway. both Big men eventually tag themselves in, and use their smaller team mates as ammunition. Slinging them at their opponents. At one Point Anderson was nearly counted out as he laid down on the outside, But Chad Gable was on hand to throw him back into the ring just in time.
At that point, Gallows tagged himself in and Booted Gable smack in the chops and told him to clear off. As it gets back into the ring.
CERTIFIED DDT By Enzo Amore!
Enzo Amore and Big Cass defeated The Bullet Club in 15:23 when Enzo Amore defeated Karl Anderson by pinfall with a Certified DDT. Enzo Amore and Big Cass win the WWE Tag Team Championship titles. (B)
As Enzo Amore and Big Cass are celebrating their victory in the ring, they are joined by American Alpha. Chad gable congratulates Big Cass on this career defining victory, as Jordan appears to do the same to Enzo Amore. Enzo goes to shake Jordan’s hand…
But JORDAN PICKS HIM UP. Chad Gable ducks under Cass and catches Enzo to hit Grand Amplitude on the new tag champs! As both men duck out of the ring. (C+)
Jim Ross announces to the audience that while tonight is sure to be memorable. The next pay per view will soon be taking place. The Royal… Rumble. “And After Smackdown failed to win Survivor Series, I have an insurance policy that I’m willing to use, to make Smackdown a big favourite at the event” (C+)
The beast makes his way to the ring.
Jim Ross passes him the mic. He asks him to say a few words to the Smackdown fans. How are you going to win the rumble?
‘Eat. Sleep. Revenge. Repeat.” (B+)
A video plays hyping the upcoming US Championship match between Brian Kendrick vs. Luke Harper.
We get some catchy images of Luke Harper kicking peoples teeth down their throat. (B-)
Kendrick’s got his work cut out.
During the match. Kendrick kept his distance. Kicks and punches while remaining as far away from Harper as it could. As Harper suckered the smaller man in, getting the upper hand, he went for the big boot shown above. Kendrick managed to counter with a swinging leg DDT. Kendrick zoned in on Harpers leg henceforth, and eventually Harper was off balanced enough for Kendrick to hit Sliced Bread.
Brian Kendrick defeated Luke Harper in 13:05 by pinfall with a Sliced Bread #2. Brian Kendrick makes defence number 1 of his WWE United States title. (B+)
Having somehow masterminded an unlikely victory Brian Kendrick snatches his title belt and scrambles back up the aisle, only holding the belt aloft in triumph when he is a considerable distance from the ring. (B)
Luke Harper’s left in the ring, already looking less vacant than he usually does. He looks over to see the only other person in the ring. Referee Charles Robinson. You can see the moment something snaps in Harpers head, as he knocks his head off with a Discus Lariat. (C)
A video plays hyping the upcoming WWE Cruiserweight Championship match between Rey Mysterio vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Christopher Daniels. (B-)
The fallen angel looks Stoic. Rey calm. Surprisingly, Dolph is the one looking the most agitated.
In an even bout, Daniels hit Angels wings on Dolph, before he was thrown out of the ring by Rey. Rey gets caught up in the ropes. Just in time for Dolph to recover…
Dolph starts pulling on his hair. Stomping around… He aggressively starts to tune the band in the corner of his ring. Daniels gets back onto the ring side and eats a superkick for his troubles. That’s just enough time for….
Rey pushes Dolph into the ring ropes and in one fluent movement. 619!!!
Rey Mysterio defeated Dolph Ziggler and Christopher Daniels in 15:20 when Rey Mysterio defeated Dolph ZIggler by pinfall with a 619. Rey Mysterio wins the WWE Cruiserweight title. (B+)
Coming up next. Roman Welcomes the New Wyatt Family (B)
Roman says little words, and welcomes the New Wyatt Family to the ring. And as you’d expect….
The Wyatts staredown Roman in the ring. Roman Speaks directly to Ambrose. He says that despite everything they’ve been through. He can’t let Dean go through this. He knows Dean better than anyone. How much fight he has and how willing he is to use that fight. He calls on Dean to remember the Asylum match they had just a month back, and all the times they fought the Wyatt’s as members of The Shield.
Dean Looks like he’s starting to remember, and makes his way to Roman. Roman goes to hug Dean. But Dean kicks him in the stomach. He sets him up for dirty deeds But then spins him around. He lifts Roman up and puts his legs onto the Shoulders of Erick Rowan (A La Magic Killer). He then falls down, hitting Roman with a Shoulder aided Dirty Deeds.
Bray Laughs at a fallen Roman. He Kneels down and looks at the camera.
To which the screen goes black. (B)
THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS THE FINAL…. OF THE WWE, NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP, NUMBER ONE CONTENDER, TOURNAMENT!
The winner of this bought, will face Current NWA World Heavyweight Champion, Cody Rhodes, at the upcoming Royal Rumble, pay per view. (Imagine that in Finkels voice)
And the winner?
Randy Orton defeated John Morrison in 15:50 by pinfall with a typical RKO out of nowhere. (B). RKO and already hit one RKO, Morrison had hit one Moonlight drive as well. As Morrison went for a second one, Randy countered the twist to hit the RKO for the win.
Randy Orton is celebrating his victory in the ring. Until all of a sudden….
ANDERSON AND GALLOWS ARE HERE. They pass Morrison on the ramp. Loft up Randy, and hit him with the magic killer.
They drop a bullet club T-shirt on randy. and leave the ring. The Bullet club are well and truely coming to WWE Smackdown, make no mistake about that. Was winning this match a poisoned chalice for Randy Orton?
Well. It may appear like it. Because John Morrison actually watched all this this go down on the ramp. And after the Bullet Club leave Orton dead and buried in the ring. Morrison heads back down. Heads to the top rope. and Hits STARSHIP PAIN! To leave the viper with more than a few things to think about. (C+)
The announcers put over the fact that next up we’ll be seeing Seth Rollins take on Kevin Owens, for the WWE Championship. (B+)
A video plays hyping Seth Rollins vs. Kevin Owens. (A)
The bell rings and both men go at eachother, hammer and tongue, guts for garters. They fight in the ring, outside the ring. KO teases a powerbomb through the announcer table, but Rollins manages to counter to a chorus of boo’s.
Owens gets Rollins in the firemans carry position on the top rope
He flips Rollins on the way down for a super Powerbomb!
So CLOSE! ROLLINS KICKS OUT.
A frustrated Kevin goes for the pop up powerbomb to finish it off, but Seth catches him with his knee while he’s on the rise. KO’s stunned!
KO goes down but he’s not out. No-one has even stirred after a Curb Stomp before, let alone Near got up!!!!
Second Curb Stomp!
Seth Rollins defeated Kevin Owens in 19:45 by pinfall with a Curb Stomp. Seth Rollins makes defence number 6 of his WWE World Heavyweight Championship title. (A)
Seth showing more and more fortitude by the month. The man’s been the WWE Champ for half a year now and must be confident heading into ‘Mania season. How long can his run continue?
A video airs showing Cesaro walking backstage. (B+)
Backstage Kevin Owens is staggering around, as he makes his way to the locker room. He comes across Mrs. A. Reporter who asks him how he feels about getting so close to winning the WWE Championship tonight. KO’S lost for words, and as he raises his hand to backslap the woman. He stops and looks up in the front of him….. The camera pans left slightly, to reveal… Brock Lesnar. Brock congratulates KO on getting “so near”. To which KO says that Brock doesn’t intimidate him, and that he should be praying he doesn’t take the title off Seth Rollins before WrestleMania, because if he does. Then he’ll be forced to embarrass Brock, “IF”, he wins the Rumble. (A)
The announcers put over the fact that we’ll be seeing Triple H take on Cesaro. In a First Blood Match (A)
A video then shows all of the goings on between the two men. Everything from Cesaro winning his spot on the Smackdown Survivor Series team, to his pin at the event, to the ensuing chaos on the brand, and HHH’s quest to regain face. (A)
The match starts slow. The game adopting a methodical approach, even in this match type, with Cesaro adopting a similar approach. Before long H’s gets the upper hand and manages to pull out …
He hits Cesaro in the gut with it, but seems to be taking his time with his approach. He’s The Game. The Cerebral Assassin. And he knows how he wants this match to end.
As is the case though. HHH takes too much pleasure in punishing the Swiss Superman. And Cesaro eventually manages to turn the tables by ducking a potentially match ending blow to the head, grabbing The games legs and Swinging him around like a helicopter. He follows that up with a Neutralizer and then picks up the Sledgehammer. IS CESARO ABOUT TO END THE GAME?
The lights go out. ITS THE NU WYATT FAMILY!
Wyatt, Ambrose and Rowen Surround Cesaro. He gives it some but is overcome. Bray catches Cesaro for a Urinagi, as Ambrose picks Cesaro back up, hoists him onto Rowens shoulders, and hits the Shoulder aided Dirty Deeds.
The lights go out as The Wyatt Family disappear.
HHH comes to. He’s been unconscious for the last minute, and obviously has no idea what has gone on. But he’s the Game. He capitalises. He grabs the Sledgehammer, hits a groggy Cesaro, who spins around, gets caught in the Pedigree Position, and gets laid out.
The ref checks on Cesaro. And…
Triple H defeated Cesaro in 29:47 when Cesaro was bust open. (A) It’s Over
Following the match, several EMT’s rush to the aid of Cesaro who clearly needs medical attention and treat him in the ring. (A)
Having successfully won the match, Triple H picks up a microphone, as EMT’s continue to tend to the Swiss Superman.
“The Game is back……. And he’s ready to play…………
PPV. Rated A for Awesome.