“BOOM! BOOM! BOOM-BA-BOOM! BOOM!” The show starts with an impressive opening of pyro, before the lights are raised and several sections of the excited crowd are shown waving various signs. The focus then switches to the announce table where Michael Cole and JBL introduce and hype tonight’s show… Already announced for tonight on Smackdown, WWE Champion Seth Rollins will share the ring with the man he will face at the Royal Rumble for the WWE Championship, Triple H. AND ALSO, WE HAVE A MINI ROYAL RUMBLE HERE TONIGHT. As Roman Reigns has challenged the entirety of the Nu Wyatt Family to a 3 on 1, Royal Rumble match. (77)
The Champ is here. (Not that one)
THIS F’N ONE.
Seth Rollins says that he doesn’t want to wait until later on in the show to meet with Triple H. He wants to talk to his opponent in the ring. Now.
It’s the WWE’s only Double Champion. United States and Cruiserweight champion, Dolph Ziggler. “Seth. This is my ring. This isn’t your ring, this is….MY RING. You can’t just call people out. You need TWO… Count them, TWO, championships to earn that privilege. But I’m not done at two. Oh no. I want them all. If you’re man enough, you’d put that title on the line against me right… now. Come on Seth… Prove to the world that you’re as talented as you say you are… Before HHH embarrasses you at the Royal Rumble that is”
Seth steps up. He’s confident. He’s been the WWE Champion since SummerSlam. He gives a nearby ref the nod, and it looks like we have a WWE Championship match everybody!
“Oh no no no no no no NO” Decrees Cesaro. “Two weeks ago I was screwed out of my championship match by HHH, and you think you can just come down here and ask for one????. Seth. Get out of the ring. Rest up for when I get my rightful shot. Tonight Dolph. You get me” (85)
Ding ding ding.
US Champ Dolph Ziggler v Cesaro folks, and BANG. “OH MY GOD!!!!”. Cesaro just broke him in half with a clothesline. And now he’s pummelling him into the canvas. Straight off the bat. Cesaro is just hitting Dolph, yelling that he is the next man to face Rollins. This match hasn’t even got underway. It takes 4 refs to get Cesaro off Ziggler, who is laid out unconscious in the ring. “Dolph isn’t competing here tonight folks” exclaims Cole. (76)
Cesaro gets pulled away to the back, and passes Assistant Smackdown GM Jim Ross (who’s just made an appearance), on his way out.
“Dolph, I know you are slightly worse for wear right now… And honestly, I wanted to tell you this in person before the show got underway, but you ran down here faster than I could put down my BBQ. When you beat Kendrick last week on Smackdown, you didn’t just force Kendrick to defend his title on the shows running up to the Royal Rumble, you forced the US Championship ITSELF to be defended. So Dolph, I’m sorry to say….. You owe me a title defence. And unfortunately for you, there is a guy in the back who’s owed a rematch…. (70)
In a bout that had good wrestling and a decent reaction from the crowd, Brian Kendrick defeated Dolph Ziggler with the Captains Hook. Dolph was still getting to his feet in the ring when Kendrick stormed on down. He locked in the Captains Hook straight away, and that was that.
Brian Kendrick RE-wins the WWE United States title. (66)
Backstage, Kevin Owens is with John Morrison, talking about their massive tag team win last week against WWE Champion Seth Rollins and Cesaro.
“Did you see us? We were awesome. Fantastic. Out of this world!!! We could be the best tag team on the planet… Think about it… Kevin Owens’ Pop up Powerbomb.. John Morrisons’ Starship pain. No one would be able to stop us. We could be …..”Mor-Owens”.. No no… scrap that, that’s awful. STARSHIP POWERBOMB!… Na na.. That sounds like a Power Rangers villain….
Morrison pops up “I’ve got it…… JO MO and KO???? KO-MO! (Coe-Mo)”
“I …..LOVE IT!” Says Owens. Look look look… Tonight. Lets go out there, and challenge a random tag team. We could rule the rumble, win tag gold, and headline WrestleMania….KO-MO for ever!” (76)
After last weeks shocking debut by the Lone Wolf Baron Corbin. Next up the former Arizona Cardinals football player takes on the man who felt the wrath of the end of days last week. Sheamus.
In a bout that had decent wrestling but didn’t have much heat, Sheamus defeated Baron Corbin in 10:11 when Baron Corbin got disqualified after going into an attacking rage. (61)
Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson make their way to the ring, and show us a video highlighting the Bullet Clubs systematic destruction of both American Alpha and Tag Team Champions Enzo Amore and Karl Anderson last week. It was a beatdown so vicious. That both Enzo Amore and Chad Gable have been put on the shelf. INDEFINATELY.
Meaning, that the tag team titles have had to be VACATED. They say that the only sensible course of action is for JR or HHH to come down to the ring, and hand the two members of the Bullet Club the belts, before anyone else gets hurt.
“You can have those tag titles… Once you go through us…..”
Gallows and Anderson look shocked that another tag team even dares to challenge them. But they get their coats off and we have a match ladies and gentleman!
In a bout that had decent wrestling but didn’t have much heat, Air Canada / Born Better defeated Karl Anderson & Luke Gallows in 8:38 when Evan Bourne defeated Karl Anderson by pinfall with a fast roll up. (69)
Michael Cole and JBL Hype the upcoming match 3 on 1 mini royal rumble match between Bray Wyatt and Dean Ambrose and Erick Rowan against Roman Reigns from the comfort of their announcers table. Reigns will come in at number one. Then a member of the Wyatt Family will enter every two minutes. Standard Royal Rumble Rules apply. (72)
Reigns is here. But who will be the first member of the Wyatt family to answer his challenge?
The Eater of worlds is here. He comes out but his song stops playing early as he’s holding a mic
“Roman… You were so eager for your destruction to come, that you couldn’t even wait another week?? Instead you had to create this… For what? To get your friend back? To prove to yourself you have what it takes to step up to MY…THRONE. Well now’s your chance Roman…. We’re here.
Ding ding. The match gets underway, both men don’t seem that interested in eliminating eachother, they seem happier that they’ve got there hands on eachother. Bray lays out Roman with a Urinage. But then the clock starts counting down. Bray laughs in the corner as we go to 3…..2……1……
It’s the White Sheep, Erick Rowen.
The match continues in the same manner. Rowen and Bray beating on Roman. Roman briefly creates some space and nearly eliminates Rowan, but he manages to hang onto the rope.
Well there’s only one man left. Dean Ambrose will be on his way next. Rowan is still on the outside. Bray goes to hit Roman who ducks out of the way.
“BRAY JUST CLATTERED INTO ERICK ROWAN, ROWAN IS ELIMINATED”
In the confusion Roman gets underneath Bray and eliminates him as well! BRAY AND ROWAN ARE OUT.. and we’re down to..3…..2….1…..
Dean comes down, looking like a man on a mission, But as he gets to the ring, he’s collared by Bray and Rowan. Bray whispers something in his ear. And then Dean gets in the ring! It’s Wyatt Dean v Roman at last. Dean gets into the ring. Squares up to Roman. And then out of nowhere throws himself over the top rope! Dean Ambrose has eliminated himself! Is that what Bray told him to do? And he did it without question? Bray laughs as Roman stands tall
In a bout that had good wrestling and a decent reaction from the crowd, Roman Reigns defeated The Wyatt Family (Bray Wyatt, Dean Ambrose and Erick Rowan) in 10:32 when Dean Ambrose was eliminated himself while fighting Roman Reigns.
In terms of in-ring work, Bray Wyatt was head and shoulders above everyone else. Erick Rowan was the weak link, struggling to keep up with everyone else’s in-ring performance. (72)
KO-MO come out to the ring and challenge anyone back stage to come out if they think they can beat the new best tag team on the planet (77)
Lesnar is here and he’s accepting KO MO’s Challenge!(79)
Lesnar bolts to the ring and lifts and carries Morrison all the way to the turnbuckle. He turns to face Ko who kicks him straight in the balls! Lesnar is groggy!. POP UP POWERBOMB! THE BEAST IS DOWN. KO tells Morrison to get to the top rope. STARSHIP PAIN. TO THE BEAST INCARNATE! (74)
The beast retreats in shock as John Morrison starts celebrating his victory in the ring. He turns to high five Kevin Owens. POP—UP—POWERBOMB. KO has laid out Morrison. Does this mean KO-MO is done for ever? BEFORE IT’S EVEN REALLY BEGUN?? (78)
In a bout that’s come about because Primo and Epico can’t stop beating up Luchadores, (it also had decent wrestling but didn’t have much heat). Primo and Epico defeated the stand in duo of Rey Mysterio Jr. and Kalisto in 9:09 when Epico defeated Kalisto by pinfall while using the ropes for leverage.
Rey Mysterio Jr. carried the match in terms of in-ring performance. (53)
Backstage NWA World Heavyweight Champion Cody Rhodes is hanging out with a bunch of hot, young, attractive women. He’s bragging about being in the Bullet Club, how he’s been all over the world and made millions, and how he has the works in the palm of his hand. Behind him theres a voice
“Weren’t you also Randy Orton’s bitch???
It’s the viper! RKO! In front of Cody’s lady friends! Randy gets up, brushes himself off, kisses each woman on the hand. And departs. Leaving his Rumble opponent on the floor (70)
Next week on CWC we will get the Semi finals and the Final of the Cruiserweight number one contender tournament. AJ Styles will face Adrian Neville, and Kota Ibushi will take on Tyler Breeze. But tonight. AJ Styles will team up in tag action with Breeze, to take on Ibushi and Neville.
In a bout that had decent wrestling but didn’t have much heat, AJ Styles and Tyler Breeze defeated Kota Ibushi and Adrian Neville in 9:22 when Tyler Breeze defeated Kota Ibushi by pinfall with a Beauty Shot. (IS THAT A SIGN OF WHAT’S TO COME ON CWC NEXT WEEK??? Tune in to find out!
Kota Ibushi was the weak link, struggling to keep up with everyone else’s in-ring performance. (67)
(Fuck off) ^
A video airs showing Cesaro. (80)
Seth Rollins reappears, after failing to get HHH’s attention earlier on. And demands to see his Royal Rumble Opponent face to face. And he doesn’t have to wait long….
The Game, The King of Kings, The Cerebral Assassin, The Smackdown General Manager AND The self appointed number one contender to the WWE Championship is here.
“Seth… You were so eager for your destruction to come, that you couldn’t even wait another week?? Instead you had to do this…You had to call me out and make me come here… For what? To prove to yourself you have what it takes to step up to me? To challenge yourself against my legacy? Well now’s your chance Seth…. I’m here.
“None of this is personal. It’s just natural progression. This brand lost at Survivor Series, and it just turns out, I’m the guy who has the balls to lead it into a new age. I’m no longer the King of Kings Seth, I’m the God… of Kings, the Creator and the Destroyer, and you will kneel to me.”
Rollins is completely confused. “Even for someone as egotisical as you Hunter, that speech was whack. What are you? The god of kings? You sound like you’re from wherever Bray Wyatt was unearthed. You’re the father of NXT. You made me. And I will not give in to you, I’ve held this title for too long, and defended it too many times to just give in”
By this time HHH has got to the ring. He has no intention of talking, Rollins is still confused, But he sacks up, he catches HHH with a Pelle kick as he gets into the ring. HHH Pushes him away. He goes for a SpineBuster but Rollins wriggles himself free. HHH is literally frothing at the mouth, his movements and mindset are totally out of charcter. He throws himself at Rollins who kicks him in the gut. CURB STOMP. Rollins has felled HHH!!
Rollins looks shocked and surprised by the whole ordeal, and clutches his WWE Championship as we go off air (87!)
Rating… a piss poor 67 as i didn’t know how they rated shows. I just lost us popularity in 45 regions. That is… my bad.