A video airs hyping the 30th Royal Rumble, showing us some winners from the past including Shawn Michaels, Stone Cold and last year’s winner, Triple H. We also get a highlight package from everyone from Raw currently entered into this year’s match. The Underdog from the Underground Sami Zayn, the Heavyweight House of Pain Stixx, the Gold Standard Shelton Benjamin, The Monster Kane, The American Dragon Daniel Bryan and The Dead himself, The Undertaker! (82)
Welcome one and welcome all to WWE Power Hour, presented by the Raw brand and also Blue Apron probably.
The Gilded are seen hanging around their plus dressing room backstage. Amazing Kong is suggesting they fuck Cena up before he can even get to the arena, but Christian waves off the idea. Edge is about to talk, but he clamps up and looks annoyed, because ECW Champion Matt Hardy has just walked in. Christian asks him what he wants, and Matt pushes past Edge to get his face time with the World Heavyweight Champion.
“I’m ECW Champion.”
Christian just shrugs. “So? So was I.”
“I’m ECW Champion. I hold gold!”
Christian gets it. “So what? You want to join The Gilded? Is that it?”
Matt stares right at Edge, “Yeah, I do. I’m gonna overlook the fact that I’ve been ECW Champion since the end of last year and I haven’t been INVITED to join The Gilded, like the rest of the members here were, but I can’t overlook the fact that while I’m a reigning champion I haven’t been inducted and yet Edge and Uso here lost their belts weeks ago and they’re still members!”
Edge gets in Matt’s face, but Hardy just smirks at him and taps his belt, then taps Edge’s empty shoulder. “I thought The Gilded was the champions stable? I get that you’re keeping around your little buddy, but Uso? Who’d he ever beat?”
It looks like there might be a fight, but Bad News gets between Matt and Edge, “I’m sorry Edge, but he’s right. You two lost your Universal Tag Titles to reDragon and last week you didn’t beat Cena and Bryan on Raw. It’s starting to make us look bad.”
Everyone looks to Christian for some sort of answer. He thinks it over, then decides, “Fine. He’s right. Look, Uso isn’t even here tonight and people are starting to talk that you shouldn’t be either. Matt has a point. You’re not a champion anymore, but I’ve got a solution. Matt, I know you’ve only been taking on ex-ECW Champions, but since that includes me I’ll put you a challenge. Put your ECW Title on the line… against Edge! Who ever wins the belt, wins their place in The Gilded.”
Edge is about to kick off that this is horseshit, but Matt immediately accepts. “Last time we did this, ADAM, you ran me out of the WWE. Now I’m going to break you and take your spot.” (80)
In a bout that had decent wrestling but didn’t have much heat, Damien Sandow defeated Zack Ryder in 10:06 by pinfall with a Cubito Aequet. (78)
(Sandow and Ryder have good chemistry. Remember that for later)
Matt Hardy is walking backstage when he’s stopped by some woman, who cares. Some woman asks Matt how he feels to be taking on his former friend and now longtime bitter nemesis Edge.
Matt says he was always better than Edge, but Edge cheated his way to the top and didn’t care what friendships he burned on the way up. Well now one of those friendships is going to burn him on the way down, and Matt will be Gilded and Edge will just be. (78)
A video airs recapping the events of Raw last week, with Daniel Bryan and John Cena taking on Rusev and Big E in the main event. After which Cena taunts Christian until he comes to the ring, loses his temper and challenges Cena to a match. (84)
In a poor match,The Big Day defeated The Vaudevillains in 9:08 when Kofi Kingston defeated Simon Gotch by pinfall with a leg drop off of Big Show’s shoulders. (47)
(oof. Not great)
Goldust comes to the ring and says he doesn’t care who winds up as ECW Champion after Raw, because he knows he needs that belt. It’s the only thing that can finally make him whole again and wake him up from this God Awful reality. The Awakened Goldust now turns his attention to The Royal Rumble, stating that in his quest to feel SOMETHING he MUST get into the Rumble, the most potentially dangerous match in the WWE. Just ask Taka Michinoku. Goldust has requested a qualifying match and an opponent who might be able to give him some peace. “BRING IT ON! WAKE ME UP!” (74)
Somebody gonna get their wig split!
In a decent match that saw Mark Henry batter Goldust all over the ring, Goldust showed a renewed aggression and soaked up all the punishment he could get. No matter how much Mark hurt him, Goldust kept dragging himself to his feet and screaming for Henry to wake him up. Mark hit him with the World’s Strongest Slam but Goldust just wouldn’t stay down. Ultimately, the constant dishing out of punishment took it’s toll on Mark and the exhausted big man was a sitting duck for the Curtain Call and the pin. Goldust, not even able to stand, points up at the Rumble sign hanging from the roof. (67)
Overall Rating… 74