On the pre show this week, a bout that had sub-par wrestling and little heat, Tyler Breeze defeated Tyson Kidd in 10:11 by pinfall with a Fashion Driver.
“BOOM! BOOM! BOOM-BA-BOOM! BOOM!” The show starts with an impressive opening of pyro, before the lights are raised and several sections of the excited crowd are shown waving various signs. The focus then switches to the announce table where Michael Cole and JBL introduce and hype tonight’s show….
Cole – “Ladies and gentleman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WELCOME, to the most innovative, competitive, and action packed brand on WWE television. It’s SMACKDOWN, IT’S LIVE….”
JBL – “AND ITS SMACKDOWN 33 COLE!”
Cole – “Yes it is John, and that means we have a card packed from top to bottom for you folks. We don’t have one, we don’t have two. But we have 3 Championship matches here tonight!”
JBL – “And with Kota Ibushi already cashing in on his opportunity last night on CWC, surely someone else will as well. Won’t they Cole?!?!”
Cole – “We’re about to find out, if Sheamus can… As the form man of the WWE right now, earned himself a shot at the Vipers NWA World Heavyweight Championship last week”.
In an evenly contested bout, Sheamus eventually clatters Orton with The Brogue Kick! After about 12 minutes…
But it hit with such momentum that Randy was knocked out of the ring entirely. Sheamus can’t believe his bad luck. He heads outside to fetch his fallen opponent. He grabs Orton around the neck and waist and tosses him back into the ring. Sheamus takes a deep breath, and climbs back onto the ring apron, between the ropes, and steps foot into the…
Cole – “RKO!.”
JBL – “Outta nowhere Cole!”
In a good match, Randy Orton defeated Sheamus in 13:30 by pinfall with a RKO. Randy Orton makes defence number 1 of his NWA World Heavyweight title.
Backstage, JR is in his office, having obviously just enjoyed the first bout of the night on his TV screen. His enjoyment of tonight’s landmark event however is postponed when he is interrupted by FORMER, Cruiserweight champion Dolph Ziggler, and his running buddy Jack Swagger. Both men have a very smug look on their face.
Dolph – “JR, what a night tonight is. It’s Smackdown 33. And I have a good feeling, that Wrestlemania 33, is going to be kind, to Me and Jack. Especially, after I win back my WWE Cruiserweight championship from… Kota Ibushi. Oh, I’ve heard he’s not here tonight. How is he by the way? I seem to recall he hit a bit of trouble after his big win last night.”
(Dolph and Jack laugh)
JR – “Dolph, I don’t know what you’re game is. But this. What you’ve been doing. How you’ve been going about yourself recently, it’s not going to fly. No. Kota Ibushi isn’t here tonight, as he has not been medically cleared to be. Adrian Neville has also not arrived at the building tonight. I can only assume he’s tending to his fallen friend.”
JR cont – “Dolph. After your actions last night after your defeat, I have no remorse in informing you that I am stripping you of your rematch with Kota Ibushi. As far as I’m concerned, Your time on Cruiserweight Central is over.”
Dolph is fucking livid. Both he and Jack almost get physical with the legend, until Cesaro appears behind the GM…
JR – “Dolph. Jack. Both Kota Ibushi and Adrian Neville have informed me of a challange, for the both of you, to take place at the Elimination Chamber PPV. Kota Ibushi and Adrian Neville are two of the finest wrestlers on the planet, you know that Dolph, because you can never seem to beat them fairly. But at The Elimination Chamber PPV. They are willing to sink to your two’s level. Because Next Sunday. It will be Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger vs Cruiserweight Champion Kota Ibushi and Adrian Neville, in a no holds barred, no disqualification, hardcore tag team match…. And, just to warm you two up, I’ve found you both opponents tonight. Jack. Up next, you will face the man behind me. Antonio Cesaro.
And tonight Dolph. You’re facing……..
The United States Champion. STING.”
In a decent match, Antonio Cesaro defeated Jack Swagger in 7:20 by pinfall with a Gotch Neutraliser.
Antonio was on fire. He was aggressive, precise, and intense. Jack got offense in, But he just couldn’t keep up with the Swiss Superman…
Post match, Antonio Cesaro is in the ring with a microphone..
Cesaro – “In one week. There is no doubt in my mind, then anyone will be able to stop me finally claim what is rightfully mine. I will win The number one contender Elimination Chamber. And I will win the WWE Championship at Wrestlemania. Brock. Kevin. John. Sheamus. Randy. I don’t care that you’ve all beaten me this year. Because in one week. MY TIME. WILL COME.”
Austin Aries is backstage being interviewed by Tom Phillips. Tom asks him how he feels having missing out on capturing the Cruiserweight championship, this past week on CWC. Aries says that it doesn’t really matter, as the cream always rises eventually. He had Kota Ibushi ready to tap out before Dolph knocked Kota unconscious. And he’s confident that his finisher, The Last Chancery, is unbreakable…. Before the interview can end. we’re interrupted by Tyler Breeze, who’s alreayd won on the pre show this evening. He whacks Austin on the head with his selfie stick. Looks at Tom and says…
Breeze – “No. My time… has come”.
In the ring… It’s time for…
PERFECT PLIE .
The team of Fandango and Joe Hennig are in attendance, and have a messgae for the ever growing tag division here on Smackdown.
Fandango – “If you’re not perfect, you’re flawed. And it is our time, to Jive, Samba, and Plie our way. Into history….”
In a bout that had decent wrestling but little heat, Perfect Plie defeated Primo and Epico in 6:58 when Fandango defeated Primo by pinfall with a Swinging Reverse STO.
Joe is perfectly happy with that result.
A video plays hyping our second title match of the evening. The team ever increasing in popularity at the moment, KO-MO, take a detour on their way to The Elimination Chamber, as they face the team they BEAT last week. The Bullet Clubs Karl Anderson & Luke Gallows.
In a bout that had great wrestling and a decent reaction from the crowd….
(I should fucking think so too…)
The team of Kevin Owens and John Morrison get the first chance to split Gallows and Anderson. Anderson is felled outside the ring by Ko, leaving Morrison with a chance to strike with moonlight drive on Gallows. Gallows counters, flattens Morrison with a Urinagi, and sets up the big boot. He aims for John…
BUT KO DIVES IN AND TAKES IT. SQUARE TO THE CHOPS. Has Ko really taken this much of a shine to Morrison?
MOONLIGHT DRIVE! MORRISON HITS IT.
DUN. DUN DUN DUN DUN.
Brock Lesnar steamrolls down the ramp.
He heads straight into the ring. He drives Morrison into the corner. He wails on him. The ref calls the match a DQ. KO-MO have been cost their title match here tonight.
KO-MO defeated Karl Anderson & Luke Gallows in 13:02 when Luke Gallows was disqualified when Brock Lesnar ran in and attacked Kevin Owens. During the match we also had Brock Lesnar run in and attack John Morrison. (79)
Cole – “And as Brock Lesnar throws John Morrison around the ring like a rag doll, he has obviously not forgotten how he was, in his mind, made an example of by Kevin Owens and John Morrison in the lead up to The Royal Rumble, then even eliminated from the Rumble by Kevin Owens himself!”
An F5 a piece for both Kevin Owens and John Morrison. Then Brock does something he never does.. he grabs the mic.
“(Chuckle)….. John…. Kevin… While I’m around. Neither of you. Are winning anything.”
He drops the mic, then motions that he’s about to put KO in the Kimura lock.
BUT CESARO IS HERE!
Fresh off his statement victory. Cesaro rushes to square up to the Beast. Brock decides that tonight, he has made enough of a statement. And leaves the ring….
A graphic is shown on the screen to confirm that the new WWE Cruiserweight Champion Kota Ibushi will return next week, on CWC. Not only is he returning to respond to his attack, and his match at The Chamber. He has already announced that he wants to defend his title at the earliest opportunity as well. Get tuned.
Next. A match I don’t think anyone thought they would ever see…
United Sates Champion Sting. Vs
The show-off. Dolph Ziggler.
JBL – “Our General Manager Jim Ross made this match as a punishment for Dolph Ziggler. But Dolph looks pumped. If he wins tonight. He beats The Icon. And propels past his recent poor form. You have to look on this as an opportunity for a man who thrives on showing the world what he’s got”.
In a good match…
Dolph did an incredible job at not losing in seconds, as Brian Kendrick has, and as each man who dared face the freak of nature in the Royal Rumble did also. The match was over, both men were over!
But before either man could get to any resemblance of a finishing sequence…
Adrian Neville appears from the crowd with a Kendo Stick!
He’s pissed. Dolph clocks him and scampers. Straight up the ramp….. Adrian Neville has just shown that while he may be a nice guy… You can only beat someone up so much before they snap back.
Sting defeated Dolph Ziggler in 9:41 when Dolph Ziggler was counted out after being attacked by Adrian Neville.
Back to the ring. Sting stands tall and is given his United States Championship…
And he’s interrupted, by Smackdowns resident destroyer right now. Baron Corbin.
Corbin – “So Sting. Last week. You interrupted me. You challenged…. me? Who on earth do you think you are. I do what I want… When I want… And you don’t. Intimidate me.
If you want, a piece of me. Fine. You can have it. Next Sunday. At The Elimination Chamber.”
Jim Ross is backstage, looking forward to our next bout. The main event WE Championship pitting Seth Rollins against Bray Wyatt, with the added caveat that The Apostle Dean Amborse will be the special guest referee. He’s met backstage by AJ Styles and Cody Rhodes. They walk past the GM and simply say.
“Don’t you worry about your main event JR. Your title match will go off without a hitch. What happens after though? Well… Who knows”.
In a match described as “superb” by the game (and I presume also Dave Meltzer), Dean Ambrose looked confused and conflicted during the duration of the entire match. With Reigns in one Corner, and Rowan in the other. He was being berated at at all times….
When Bray hit offence and attempted to pin Rollins. Dean would count at a normal pace, to the berating of The Wyatt Family members.
When Rollins hit offence and attmpted to pin Bray. Dean would count at a normal pace, to the berating of, again, The Wyatt family members…. It seemed to be that depending on the faction that Ambrose looked at, swayed his mental alliance.
It starts to get all too much for Bray. His mind is starting to slowly question the possible chance that his Apostle has more independence than he first thought…
Bray realises he’s in a fight here. More than maybe he anticipated. He knows he’s never actually beaten Seth Rollins clean 1, 2, 3. His actions, moves, and pinfall attempts become more aggressive and more volatile.. He hits Seth with everything he’s got. He even goes high and hits a huge frogsplash. But Dean never touches the mat for a 3 count….
Bray gets physical. He grabs Dean Ambrose and shouts in his ear. Dean is forced to his knees. In all of this non-wrestling mumbo jmbo however. Seth Rollins hits a neckbreaker on a distracted Wyatt…
Rollins goes for the cover… Dean counts!
AND ROWAN IS IN THE RING TO BREAK IT UP.
Rowan smacks Dean around the head. Roman is in the ring. Spear to Rowan. This match has totally broken down. Dean has lost all control. He’s in the corner of the ring. His mind conflicted and tortured. He doesn’t know who to look to or where to focus his attention. He gets to his feet, he hits Dirty Deeds to Reigns, and then turns around and immediately hits Dirty Deeds to Rowan. He then leaves the arena. Tears rolling down a broken mans face.
Bray Wyatt and Seth Rollins ended without a victor, in 14:42, following interference from Erick Rowan. Bray Wyatt technically makes defence number 1 of his WWE title.
Post match. Both factions are left in the ring. Cody Rhodes and AJ Styles appear from the crowd……
Styles Clash to Roman Reigns.
Cross Rhodes to Erick Rowan! (Who’s taken 3 finishers in about 2 minutes)
The Bullet Club stand tall amongst the chaos. Bray looks on from a distance. Title clutched to his chest.
One week to go
That. Is your lot.