In a terrible pre-show match, Braun Strowman defeated Heath Slater in 9:56 by submission. (49)
(Bye bye Braun)
“BOOM! BOOM! BOOM-BA-BOOM! BOOM!” The show starts with an impressive opening of pyro, before the lights are raised and several sections of the excited crowd are shown waving various signs. The focus then switches to the announce table where Michael Cole and JBL introduce and hype tonight’s show and the expected impact the likes of Bray Wyatt, Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins, Roman Reigns, AJ Styles and Cody Rhodes are likely to have.
Cole – “Welcome ladies and gentleman to your weekly dose of WWE Smackdown!”
JBL – “Raw have just had their time in the spotlight, it’s time for the boys in blue to continue on the road to WrestleMania!”
The screen goes black. And the Tron fills with the face of a seemingly broken Apostle….. Dean Ambrose.
Ambrose – “I’m here….. I’m not. I’m there, I’m this and I’m that… ahaha. THE APOSTLE…. Wyatt… No!………….. THE SHIELD!… YES!… NO!… argghhhh.”
Dean is visibly shaking, pulling at his hair and writhing around in mental agony.
Ambrose – “I’m cracked, punctured, no… I’m whole…. But master is calling me… I will… Respond.
Cole – “And ladies and gentleman, Dean Ambrose will be here tonight, because later on WWE Champion Bray Wyatt will summon his Apostle, right here. LIVE!
In the ring, Perfect Plie are arriving! They’ve notched up 4 wins on the bounce so far, and they’re pretty happy about it. Hennig picks up the microphone as Fandango pirouettes his way around ringside, offering roses to all of the pretty ladies in attendance.
Hennig – “Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, welcome to Smackdown Live! Feast your eyes, on the hottest tag team in the WWE right now. PERFECT. PLLLLLLLIIIIIEEEEEEEE. Not only are we unbeaten on Smackdown thus far, but we have… ahem. ‘perfectly’…. navigated our way STRAIGHT THROUGH the Smackdown tag team division.
Fandango – “Yes, and do not get us wrong ladies and gentleman, we know that we would be the underdogs if we were to go against the mighty WWE Tag team Champions Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson. But…. But…. We have two stepped around everyone else. Who else is there to face? We have reached the final and it’s time Smackdown live went from Bullets, to….
Perfect Plie are cut off by the men that they were apparently about to challenge.
Anderson – “You have got… to be kidding me. You two chumps pick up a few wins against some second rate tag teams, and think you’re all of a sudden ready to step up and face us? We are head and shoulders above everyone else in this division. Last week on Smackdown 33, Kevin Owens and John Morrison failed to take our titles away from us. Frankly, Brock Lesnar ending that match early… Did KO-MO a favour. But here. Look. We’re not the gilded. And good Ol’ JR seemingly wants you two to do well. So he’s informed us that you two are to have a match tonight, against…. Two of our friends…
Cole – “My word. AJ Styles and Cody Rhodes. Two men who I can only assume have requested, or have been put into this match, to try and get some momentum going into the Elimination Chamber”.
JBL – “Well, some form of cohesion would be a start. They have a legitimate chance at winning the WWE Championship in just a few days time, but they can’t seem to get on the same page. It’s mistake after mistake after mistake in matches between these two at the moment.”
In a bout that had decent wrestling but didn’t have much heat, Perfect Plie DEFEATED AJ Styles and Cody Rhodes in 11:54 when…… ONCE AGAIN, a communication error cost Cody Rhodes and AJ Styles the match. AJ was the legal man, he had the chance to hit The Styles Clash on Fandango, but Cody tagged himself in. He begged AJ to throw Fandango his way so he could hit a Cross Rhodes with added ummmph. By now though Fandango had recovered enough to break free of Styles’ clutches, push AJ into Cody, hit the swinging STO and score the quick pinfall on Cody.
In terms of in-ring work, AJ Styles was head and shoulders above everyone else.
After the break, JR is backstage with Karl Anderson & Luke Gallows. he informs them that after Perfect Plie’s unlikely win, they have earnt the right to face them for the WWE tag team Championships at Elimination Chamber. They storm out to find AJ and Cody making there way to the back. Both men start complaining about the other to the tag champs, but are quickly shut off. Anderson and Gallows walk off in disgust.
NWA World Heavyweight Champion Randy Orton comes to the ring next, with a beaming smile on his face after beating Sheamus in a hardly fought contest last week on Smackdown 33.
Orton – “In just a few days time, I, along with 5 other men, will enter the Elimination Chamber, aiming to book my place in the WWE Championship match at Wrestlemania. The Chamber is brutal. It’s unforgiving, and it changes people. I share all of those traits. I am the deadliest man in WWE history. I strike when you least expect me to, just ask Sheamus. The only thing I like right now, is adequate ring time. SO… LOCKER ROOM. Last week I retained my NWA World Heavyweight Championship. And I plan on doing the same thing again tonight…..”
Cole – “OH MY. BROCK LESNAR HAS ANSWERED THE CALL.”
Brock bounds down the ramp. And Randy nods his head, as if he has just realised how stupid he’s just been……
THE FOLLOWING BOUT, IS SCHEDULED FOR ONE FALL, AND IT IS FOR, THE N…W…A…. WORLD… HEAVYWEIIIIIGGGHT CAHMPIONSHIP.
In an exceptional match… Randy teased offence but as per, but as per, Brock hit suplex after suplex after suplex. Randy broke up the offence with an RKO out of freakin’ nowhere. But it didn’t phase Brock for long. Brock got back to his feet and just as it looked like he was setting up the F5….
JBL – “Do these guys ever learn? Why on earth would you provoke the beast?!?!?!”
KO – “Whoa whoa whoa whoa. Brock. Brock!!! It looks like you’re about to win a title there. I mean. We were going to win a set of titles last week. But, ya know. You ruined that….”
Brock heads back to Orton. who is getting to his feet. He gets him up on his shoulders, but Morrison has pegged it down to confront the referee. He gives him a pretty heavy dig to the arm, you know, like the ones you give to your mates in school”
Cole – “The ref has called the match off after Morrison punched the ref in the arm!”
JBL – “ARE YOU KIDDING ME? That’s the most ludicrous thing I’ve ever seen. His arm is fine!!! It’s not going to fall off!”
Brock can’t believe what’s just happened. He storms on up the ramp and chases KO and Morrison off, Who are laughing as they run. Randy doesn’t really have a clue what’s just happened. He stands up and holds the NWA World Heavyweight Championship aloft. That’s until he turns around and gets met by an enormous Brogue kick to the chops. Sheamus stands tall.
A video airs showing Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns do Shield stuff.
Next up, Tyler Breeze is in 1 on 1 action with, Kalisto!
Tyler Breeze defeated Kalisto in 10:29 by pinfall with a Fashion Driver. (51)
Breeze grabs the microphone after his victory – “I have once again proved that I am not just the future of the Cruiserweight division, but I am the now. I am. THE GREATEST Cruiserweight in this company. And I will be Cruiserweight Champ… ”
Aries – “Tyler, I applaud you on another fine victory. You really are something to behold. But you used that word again. GREAT. You, are not great. And I. Am the future of the Cruiserweight division. You bested me on CWC this week, but that is because I took you lightly. I’ve had a word with JR, and I threw him this pitch, tell me what you think. At WWE Elimination Chamber. “The greatest man that ever lived, against the most Gorgeous man that ever lived, in a match that will define the future, of the Cruiser weight division.”
Cole – “It’s happening folks. On Sunday. At The Elimination Chamber PPV!”
A video is shown hyping KERNOWVERSE MANIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Baron Corbin is in the ring and he has some choice words aimed at US Champ Sting.
Corbin – “Now Sting. I don’t want you to be fooled my age. My perceived inexperience. My lack of titles. Because on Sunday. We’re going to hell together. But you know that. Or you wouldn’t have challenged me. You see something in me. And I promise you. That you will see that on Sunday…”
Sting arrives with his belt and heads to the ring to meet his opponent on Sunday face to face.
Sting – “Yes. I did see something in you. I saw. A bully… A kid… And someone who needs there ass kicked……”
For seemingly no reason. Dolph and Swags arrive.
Dolph – “Why are we here? I hear you all ask. Why?!?!? We’re here because last week. I was going to beat that old man in that ring, and set myself up for a United States Championship match! But Adrian bloody Neville had to arrive with a kendo stick in hand, and once again throw a curve ball in the way of my career trajectory!” Well not this time. This time. JACK AND DOLPH, are taking, what is rightfully ours….
As all sides close in on Sting… he’s joined at the last minute by a couple of friends. Adrian Neville and Kota Ibushi are here! Despite being literally beaten into a river bank last night on CWC! JR arrives at ring side and makes an impromptu 6 man tag team match!
In a decent match, Sting and Kota Ibushi & Neville defeated Baron Corbin, Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger in 12:05 when Kota Ibushi defeated Dolph Ziggler by pinfall with a Golden Star Press.
Post match. Corbin catches Sting off guard and nails End of Days. Sting takes it like a 58 year old man, and medical staff separate Corbin from the Icon. Dolph, Jack. Neville and Kota meanwhile are going hammer and fucking tong on each other. Jack goes for the gutwrench on Neville But Kota kicks him in the nuts. Neville falls and Slingblades Dolph into the mat. Kota heads out and, totally out of character, goes under the ring and fetches a table. He sets it up inside of the ring and places Dolph flat. Neville beats his face in, then both men go to alternate turnbuckles…,
Cole – “What the hell are they doing?”
JBL – “I don’t know Cole, but they’re showing fight! They’re going to need it to survive on Sunday”
In perfect tandem, Neville hits Dolph through the table with a Moonsault, at the same time as Kota hits a 360 leg drop! Dolph is obliterated!
JBL – “I don’t believe it Michael! I didn’t think they had that sort of fight in them! Sunday’s going to be spectacular!”
A quick cut of the camera to the backstage area shows that Antonio Cesaro has arrived in the building. Tom Phillips is back there ready to catch the Swiss Superman for an interview.
Tom asks Cesaro what he thinks of everything that has transpired tonight between his 5 opponents at Elimination Chamber.
Cesaro – “Look Tom, I don’t need to worry about those 5 beating each other up. My focus is solely placed on Sunday, where I will become……”
Cesaro is cut off by KO-MO who have joined Cesaro backstage. KO says that KO-MO have proved that they’re the favourites to win the Chamber match….. Sheamus then appears and says with just a couple of swift Brogue kicks, much like the one Randy just felt, it will in fact be him who heads to mania to contest for the WWE Championship.
Scenes are then had when Brock Lesnar comes hurtling in, tackling anyone in his sight. He’s focused on KO-MO, but with limbs flying everywhere, it doesn’t take long for Sheamus and Cesaro to get involved. The brawl engulfs the whole backstage area. JR arrives with an army of security guards to split up the brawling combatants. Just as tensions ease, Randy Orton appears from outta nowhere to strike down Sheamus with an RKO. Brawling erupts again, with the guards being forced to separate the warring parties by confining them to different scetions of the backstage area…..
Advert is had.
Backstage, JR is walking towards his office after dealing with the mass brawl that occured just before the break. He wonders past Kota Ibushi and Adrian Neville, and wishes them luck in their match against Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger on Sunday. He then walks into his office to find Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns lounging around, and making themselves well and truly at home… They get up and leave as JR enter. Seth tells JR to sit and relax. Because at The Elimination Chamber, The Hounds of Justice, are going to purge Smackdown of it’s plagues.
Bray Wyatt – “Washington DC……We’re here”
Cole – “WWE Champion Bray Wyatt makes his way, accompanied by the ever loyal Erick Rowan….”
JBL – “But the same can’t neccersarily be said of Dean Ambrose. The guy is deranged. He doesn’t know what way is up at the moment. And Bray is going to need his apostles support inside the hellacious Elimination Chamber….”.
N~Bray grabs the microphone, and speaks as he orbits around The White sheep Erick Rowan
Bray – “I, belong to a unique family. A family, who’s ties and commitment towards each other is unquestionable. It is thanks to my family, that I stand before you today with this crown, this championship, in OUR clutches….
… Dean Ambrose, you are part of this family. Your mind, is fractured… I get that. It’s understandable even. It’s all thanks to those false idols… The… The Shield. We were stood here. Quite happy in our own little world. But they. They have lead you astray. They have done this to you. But I promise you this my brother.. Stand with me.. And we will destroy all of the liars. The Shield. The Bullet Club. They will all fall. Beneath our combined force… My Apostle….. Come. Home.
Cole – “And here he is John. But just how much of an Apostle is he?”
Ambrose heads to the ring. He pulls his hair and mutters to himself all the way down the ramp. He gets to the steel steps and stops. Bray Wyatt signals for Rowan to help Ambrose into the ring. Ambrose tentatively makes his way through the ring ropes, and quickly succumbs to the WWE champions gaze. He slowly kneels down, an action that is met with a chorus of boos from the WWE Universe.”
The boos are quickly replaced by cheers, as Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns appear on the ramp. Deans face goes from subordinate apostle to fractured maniac at the sound of The Shields theme song. He runs around the ring froffing at the mouth…. Rollins and Reigns march onto ringside, and utter a very familiar phrase.
Reigns – “Bray, Erick…. And even you Dean…. If you’re not with us. You’re against us.”
Blows are had as Rowan and Bray come to blows with Rollins and Reigns. Reigns and Rowan tumble out of the ring. Dean Ambrose makes a wild attempt at punching Rollins in the chops. Rollins pushes Dean back, and he clatters into Bray. There’s a big “oooohhhhhhhh” In the arena as Bray visibly contemplates smacking Dean into next week. He leaves it though and ducks out of the ring. Rollins spins Ambrose around in an attempt to talk to him, but Ambrose has none of it and locks in Dirty Deeds. Rollins spins out, kicks him in the gut, and hits The Apostle with an earth shattering Curb Stomp.
Seth looks towards Reigns with a sorry look on his face. Bray has watched the interaction at ringside. AJ Styles and Cody Rhodes have been standing at the top of the ramp for a few minutes watching the whole thing transpire……
Cole – “Who’s your money on then folks? Wrestlemania gets a little bit closer on Sunday. Don’t miss Elimination Chamber. Good night”.