Renee Young – Hello, Good Evening and welcome to The Power Hour! We are less than one week away from
Wrestlemania 33! My name is Renee Young, joined on commentary from now until forever by this fine gent…
Regal – Good Evening Renee, thank you very for much for having me. I’ve been on at the office for a while to get me behind the desk, and they finally listened. The Raw brand has some excellent English talent in the ring, talking about Stixx and Wade Barrett, and it was about time we got some on the commentary table as well.
Renee – Makes sense to me. First up tonight, let’s take you back to Raw this past week. World Heavyweight Champion John Cena was actin General Manager, and he made a match between Rusev and Jay Lethal that has changed the landscape here on Power Hour.
A video airs showing Rusev defeating Jay Lethal and taking the European title!
Renee – What does this title change mean for Power Hour, and for Wreslemania itself?
Regal – Well we might find out my love, look who’s here….
Jake “The Snake” Roberts swans down to the ring, smiling under his ‘tache.
Jake – Well well well… once more The Snake gets his due and brings home the gold. As promised to my clients when I took them on, I will bring you the highest heights of this business. I crawled there myself, so I know the way up. Let me relay to you a little story, if I may. Once upon a time there was a mouse. This mouse, while walking across a country lane, came upon a snake. The Snake was badly injured, almost gone, and mouse approached and said “I will help you. I will take you to my den and I you can recover there in safety.”
The snake refused. “You can’t do that,” he said, “I’m a snake and you shouldn’t take me into your home.”
But the mouse insisted, and he carried the injured snake to his den. Then one day, when the mouse returned from searching for food, he found the snake was gone. He turned to leave, to look for his friend, but the snake was in front of him. “I’m going to eat you now, Mr Mouse”, said the snake. The mouse was shocked. The mouse was hurt. The mouse did not understand, “but why are you doing this?” he said, “I am your friend.”
And the snake replied, “I told you in the very beginning, I am a Snake”
And I am a snake. I am The Snake. I was invited into the WWE, despite my warnings. I gathered my strength, my clients, and I now I have taken the first bite out of the WWE. The Snake Agency has eaten its first mouse in Jay Lethal and now we will inject the venom into WWE by taking over this show. The Power Hour is our den now.
And then calm as you like, Jake gets out of the ring and joins Renee and William Regal on commentary.
Renee – Erm… hello Mr Roberts.
Jake – Renee. William.
Regal – Jake. Good to see you.
Jake – It shouldn’t be, but I understand.
Renee – Can I ask, what does Rusev’s title win mean for Wrestlemania?
Jake – Well Renee, at Wrestlemania, the other mice will follow into the trap. Jey Fatu, Stixx, Samoa Joe and Jay Lethal himself will all fall to Rusev in the Fatal 4Way. My client will of course take Jay Lethal’s place in the match.
Renee – So does that mean he’s out of the Intercontinental Ladder match?
Jake – I felt it best to distance my client from Sami Zayn, considering Rusev is now the champion of an entire show, he doesn’t need to be plagued by underneath talent. I have brokered a deal with Paul Heyman, the details of which don’t concern you for now, whereby Rusev has agreed to give up his spot in the ladder match, in exchange for… well never mind that. And of course The Snake Agency has an interest in the Ladder match already, in the form of Big E Langston.
Regal – So who’s taking his place? Are we going down to five men in the ladder match?
Jake – That’s not my problem William. The Raw GM this week is Daniel Bryan if I remember correctly. Let him sort it out.
Renee – Fair one. Well next up I’d like to show you all a piece of an interview I did with WWE Universal Women’s Champion, Amazing Kong, regarding her recently announced Wrestlemania title match with the recently debuted Japanese Buzzsaw, Asuka.
We cut to Kong, backstage last week at Raw having accepted the challenge laid down by Asuka.
The dominant champion explains she cannot wait to get into the ring with Asuka on Sunday. This is her Wrestlemania debut and she’s going in as champion and she’s coming out as champion. Since she defeated Paige at Bad Blood, she’s taken on every woman the WWE has to offer. Then she took on every woman in every town they went to. And now they’re having to ship women in from Japan just to face her. She is the Amazing Champion and in her Wrestlemania debut she’s going to flatten Asuka, but hopefully not too quickly.
Next up, in a terrible match, Paige defeated Summer Rae in 7:55 by pinfall after a Paige Turner.
Jake Roberts gets back into the ring to raise Paige’s arm in victory.
Jake – Once again my client is victorious. Getting to be something of a tradition isn’t it? Now tonight I decided to give Rusev some well-deserved rest with his wife, the ravishing Russian Lana, and so tonight your main event will pit Sunday’s wannabes against one another in a tag team contest, and that match… is NEXT!
But first, Renee Young and William Regal Hype the upcoming match between Goldust and Edge at Wrestlemania for the ECW Title, in a House of Fun match! We see some clips from previous such matches; Raven taking on The Sandman, Shane Douglas v CM Punk and Julia Dinero v Mickie James. Yes, all those matches were for TNA, but let’s try not to think about that.
Jake – And now, for your Main Event! Welcome first to the ring, representing the isle of Samoa, The Good Brother Jay Fatu and Samoa Joe!
And in the blue corner, representing former European Champions, Stixx and Jay Lethal!
Jake and Paige retire to the announcer’s desk, and the match gets underway.
In a decent match, Stixx and Jay Lethal defeated Samoa Joe and Jey Fatu in 12:14 when Jay Lethal defeated Jey Fatu by pinfall with a Lethal Combination.
Lethal pats his stomach and does the belt motion, pointing at Jake on commentary.
Regal – Looks like Lethal’s confident he can recapture that belt.
Jake – As I said… The Snake welcomes all mice.